Weekend in Cali

I went to a wedding this weekend in NorCal with Ben and my parents. We flew out after work on Friday for the Saturday wedding, and I'm so glad I went. It was great to go back to my old stomping grounds, see some old friends, and watch my friend marry the man of her dreams. It was a beautiful wedding, and a lot of fun.

I, unfortunately, am still figuring out my "issues" as far as the mood swings go, and I got really angry at Ben at the end of the night Saturday. I really didn't have good reason to be so upset, but of course I thought I did. And we had been drinking for a while at that point and I really think that could be the worst idea ever for a Lupron girl. Alcohol already makes me slightly unreasonable at times, add in some chemical menopause and I'm a real dream. ;) This was one of our longest arguments, we were both overly upset and not thinking clearly. But of course we worked it out before we went to sleep, and hopefully learned some important things about ourselves and our relationship- mainly how to deal with the present situation. I still can't believe I'm putting him through this. I'm in love with him, shouldn't I be protecting him? I really am trying my best...

We flew home today after not nearly enough sleep last night. It was a fully-packed weekend that's left me feeling totally over-spent. I'm having some really bad pain up in my diaphragm. I can't tell at this point whether it's from the fact that I'm bleeding again or from doing too much. But it's there with a vengeance right now. Just have to get through it, I've got a busy week this week at work. I have to be there all day every day. Welcome back to real life.

I got some great advice from a fellow blogger to start exercising. I want to really badly, I think I'm gonna start focusing on that a little more. When it hurts, it feels like any exercise would be the last thing I should do- but I've been working that angle for a while now. It's time to try something new. I think I'm gonna get some walking in, and maybe try to hit the gym for a little work on the bike here and there. Supposedly it helps with the mood swings, and I'd do anything at this point!!!

I've also been slacking a lil on my endo diet recently. That's gotta stop. I want to feel good again, I remember what it feels like- and I want it back!!

Lupron Journal-
Bleeding still, although it's startin to slow down which means this is a pretty short period for me. We'll see how long it last in the "light" phase. Bad pain in my diaphragm (6/7) most of the time today, but sometimes it gets a lil better. And I'm having pain down in my right lower abdomen again (4) that's really aggravating. Mood swings are at a serious high and I think I'm starting to lose my mind...on a good day. ;)

Thanks for the support you guys. It's so important for me to write all of this, and the fact that there are people who care enough to read it is really amazing to me. Just throwin that out there. :)

Pray for a good day tomorrow for the start of my long work week. Oy!