Monday, December 28, 2009

Sleepy

I'm feeling extra groggy this evening...still at work and waiting to get out of here (30 minutes past the end of my shift and counting...) I wish I was at home curled up in a blanket and watching our new 55" beauty! ;) But of course, thinking of that reminds me that I really need to go for a run. I did 4.5 miles yesterday when I tried to do 6, so that felt like a failure. Ben and I are heading to a running store tonight to pick up some new shoes. Only 20 days until the Half Marathon!!

I've been thinking a lot more about the big baby question of 2010. With the holidays and my little niece and nephew around, it made it all that much more difficult. You know what's the worst- when you mention "infertility" and everyone (I mean Everyone) says "oh you never know what could happen...don't give up on it...it's when you stop trying that it will happen..." I mean, do they even know what I'm talking about? How can one say something like that when they don't know the full details? Hope is a very sensitive thing. I came to accept the fact that Ben and I won't get the joy of "trying naturally" or the unexpected BFP. I'll be on birth control right up until I start IVF. I'll actually be taking hormones to avoid getting pregnant... I don't want to hear that there could be hope. It was hard enough to accept, but I did. And there's nothing wrong with that. So, here's to hoping that the IVF way can be just as beautiful as anything else.