Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Ha, ok so that's jumping the gun quite a bit. I just had a conversation with my boss about going back to graduate school. That's an incredibly exciting idea for me- I love a challenge, and I'm extremely competitive, so if it's something I think would be difficult for me...I want to try my hand at it. Especially if there's a chance it would really set me apart in my career. And then I stop to think about my life.

What's great about my boss is that I can really talk to her about "me". She knows most of my health problems, she knows my desires and struggles. She's supportive, and she's a pusher. It's a recipe for quite the disaster when a motivated person comes along! I love it. But I'm not just me anymore. I have a husband to think about. A new home. A life. And a future that's so incredibly uncertain in part. All I know is that Ben and I will be in it together, but what will we be doing? One minute I think we've got it all figured out. We're where we want to be. Then the next I want to climb mountains and shoot off fireworks. I'm a nut case really, but in a good way I promise. (I guess that depends on who you ask).

So what is it? Career? Family? The age old question that we so often say doesn't even need to be a question at all. "You can have both!" I mean, I went to Stanford, I was neck deep in the liberal woman atmosphere that beckons it. But I also know that I'm not just any woman in some ways. I'm "special" shall we say... There's a lot behind that statement for sure.

I want both. But at what sacrifice?


My Endo Journey said...

Take the tests. :) They are good for 5 years...right? When I took them they were at least. If you end up needing to take them again because the 5 years goes by...look at the first go round as practice :)

You can't plan your life; unfortunately. So, try not to stress and let it "control" you. You definitely cannot control it!

I feel the same way sometimes. I wonder if I should go back to school (I want to do nursing...I tried the graduate school thing...not for me!).

Follow your heart! :)

My Endo Journey said...

PS: Thanks for your blog comment :)

Amanda and Tim said...

Oh it's such a hard one... I was always a homebody, loved kids, wanted to work with them until I had my own then I wanted to be a SAHM, no question about it. Of course, then I grew up, went to Uni, graduated and realised how hard it was to make ends meet, met Tim, helped him change careers and realised I would most likely always be the main provider and that sucked. Then I got my job at the tourist office and thought "yay, I can imagine doing this for years to come"... and then my endo blew up in my face and now we're making changes that should make me happy (we're moving to my hometown as it's cheaper and will allow me to work less and stay home more...) but I feel a mixture of joy and fear (as well as a bit of guilt in there)

Sometimes Tim has to remind me that I do have a chronic condition that not everybody has and eve the healthiest women struggle to combine work and family life... add the endo and other complications you have to the mix and no wonder you're all confused. Even when you get what you thought you wanted, you may find it throws something in there to trip you up...

There's nothing wrong with trying for your dreams, especially if you're feeling good right now, don't forget you can always put things off for a few years or even if you only complete it halfway, you still have the experience that will put you ahead, especially if you can explain to an employer that the only reason you didn't complete it was for health reasons, rather than you being unable to finish them for other reasons!

Thinking of you xx

p.s. I sent you an email, I hope I got the right address??

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