Hello...Goodbye...

I'm writing on a new blog now. I'll stop back by this one from time to time to write about endo, life, marriage, Tayla, Ben, the whole lot. But I'm going to be writing on that blog quite a bit now. It's anonymous, but you might be able to tell it's me. I'm going to follow a lot of you still who I have been reading from this blog... know I'm thinking about you, even if you don't see my name on any comments. It might still be me :)

Endometriosis Awareness!

What an awful, awful blogger I am. I've been gone for months! BUT...what better time to come back then the last week of Endometriosis Awareness Month? It's constantly on my mind, believe me. Even though I really would prefer that it's not because endo is mainly on my mind due to some pain or discomfort...but I'm so proud to say that I'm part of the endo community. It's a strong group, a powerful population! I mean, think about it. There aren't a lot of people who can say they've been through what we've been through. From the doubling-over pain, to the awkward digestive problems, to the devastating fertility loss. Most of us have faced insurmountable odds, and we're still here. We're still walking, breathing, being. And we're standing up to say "hear us- we have a story to tell, we're not alone, and we're incredibly important"! Ladies, all of you are so impressive to me. The stories I read, the heartache, the tears, the pain, and the victory, keep me going. Without this community of women who have been through what I'm going through, I don't know where I'd be or how I'd be doing. I'm incredibly grateful.

Along with that, I have to give a shout-out to the husbands, the boyfriends, the parents, siblings, friends and family- all of the people who have supported an endometriosis sufferer. It's not an easy spot to be, watching a loved one suffer on the inside without signs of pain on the outside. This disease is a hidden monster, and without the love of my family, friends, and wonderful husband- I could not have realized all of my victories! One foot in front of the other, breathe in and breathe out. Cry. Smile. And keep going.

Remember us this last week of March...and beyond. I'm thinking of all of those strong and powerful women who are suffering today, and everyday. Keep fighting, the battle continues!

I Did It!

I completed a Half Marathon yesterday, and I ran the entire thing! I'm so proud of myself for not stopping even after I cramped up and the pain started showing it's ugly head... I just kept running! I actually finished it in 2 hours and 15 minutes- right where I wanted to be (my super crazy goal was 2:10, so I was definitely pleased with 2:15)! The run went pretty well- I started out nice and easy, felt really good at the three mile marker where I got to see my Mom and Ben :). Then around mile 4 I got a sharp pain in my left calf, which is swollen now and really tight. I might have pulled it, I'm not sure. But it went numb and I was good to go around mile 5. But mile 7 or so brought the overall fatigue. I was soooo glad to see my Mom and Ben again at mile 9 (right where the big hill started). I needed that extra little motivation because I was about to stop and walk- but I kept going! Right around mile 10 is when the STUPID endometriosis really kicked in. I felt like my uterus was going to fall out. Bastard. I got really bad lower abdomen cramps, then some sharp pains, then the grumbling. I thought I was going to have to sprint to a port-a-potty but the lines were ridiculous and I really didn't want to stop. So I just kept going and man was it uncomfortable! For those of you with endo- you know what I'm talking about. Don't want to go into details, but endo comes with some not so lovely "bowel" problems usually. I think having stage 4 endo might contribute to that- I'm not sure.

Anyway, I kept on going and tried to think of other things. That was pretty easy with the race atmosphere. It was the PF Chang's Rock and Roll Half Marathon- so they had live bands playing at every mile marker. And there were 30,000 people running that day. SO lots of people watching while I was running. Plus, I made an awesome playlist that kept me rocking the whole way.

So when I saw Ben and my Mom for the last time it was a half mile from the finish line and I had to take off. I sprinted the last half mile and finished at 2:15. It felt great to finish strong, but man am I paying for it now :) Having a little trouble walking, my left knee is swollen, my left calf is worthless, and my hips are on fire. I've got a hot stone massage at 3:00 today that will be phenomenal!!!

Yay for achieving some athletic success once again. It feels good, and I've missed pushing my body beyond my comfort zone. I might want to make this a habit... ;)

Just keep running

I'm about to leave for a 9-10 mile run. What? Really? 9-10 miles? That's crazy! I even love writing it. Now let's just see if I can run it.

Lots of exciting things going on at work right now. I have a new corporate committee I'm a part of that's kind of exciting. Plus I've been put in charge of hiring for my division, so that's a lot of work but should be rewarding. I also have a couple of initiatives I'm working on specifically within our division which should be good. It's nice to have something that I own, that I can feel proud of.

I spent some time yesterday looking at endometriosis support groups online. I haven't done that in a really long time. I've just kind of accepted the disease as normal and gone with it...but this blog has been such a big help (back when I was actually blogging) and I had forgotten how important sharing and learning from others with the disease really is. I've done way too much research on endo in my day, so if anyone has any questions about it, please let me know. Obviously I can just rattle off research and my own experiences...by no means am I a doctor! But I've been through mad amounts of pain, plenty of time being misdiagnosed, two laparoscopies, a stage 4 endo diagnosis, Lupron for three months, countless ovarian cysts ruptures, and lived through it all. SO any support or help I can offer, that's what I want to do.

Just thought I'd put that out there :)